5 Conversations

Hello, Periwinkle—

I’m a 48 year old, married, mother of two. I have a busy work life and active social life. I take good care of myself, eat healthy, and work out regularly.

Up until recently, I thought I knew my body, but lately, I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me. It’s like no one understands me or what I’m going through—myself included!

Is this normal?

— Signed,
Peri Party Pooper

Dear Peri Party Pooper—

First and foremost, you are not a party pooper! And you are most definitely not alone.

According to the New York Times, over 1 billion women around the world will have experienced perimenopause by 2025—and that doesn’t account for trans or non-binary people in a similar situation.

While it may be tempting to pull back from people and social activities and keep your thoughts to yourself, the best thing you can do right now is to talk about what you're going through. Part of the reason no one is talking about perimenopause is because no one is talking about it!

By opening ourselves up to others, we can garner more support and help remove the stigma for future generations. Remember self-advocacy is one of the greatest forms of self-love—and the fastest way to find stronger relief, health, relationships, and more.

We suggest you start with these five crucial conversations:

Talk to your provider.

Tell them what you are experiencing not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally. The more they know, the easier it will be to find the right strategies and guidance you need.

Talk to your partner/significant other.

No one can read your mind—the key to empathy and understanding means being vulnerable (and explaining that you’re not just being a total a-hole on purpose).

Listen to your elders—the older women in your life!

If you’re lucky enough to still have your Mom around, ask her what she remembers about perimenopause. It might help clue you into what is going on in your own body or at least what you might be able to expect when. Aunts, sisters, neighbors, and older female friends all count, too. Commiserate, celebrate, and compare notes on what has or hasn’t worked.

Talk to the young people in your life.

By normalizing what every woman’s body eventually goes through, we actively work together to make it a less taboo subject. Just think, how much better prepared would you have been if someone had told you what to expect?

Talk to yourself.

Especially that voice in your head. Give yourself the gift of feeling all of the feelings. Write them down, if it helps! Reassure yourself that this is part of a natural progression, and that even though the road might be rocky at times, the destination will be well worth the trip. Your body isn’t the only thing going through a change—your mind is ready to evolve, too!

Want more insights on how to have these conversations? Check out Chapter 16 in Jen’s You've Got to Be Kidding Me!: Perimenopause Symptoms, Stages & Strategies. Download your advance copy now.

You’ve got this (and you’ve got us!)

PS. Wondering what the heck Perimenopause is all about? Ask your questions—big and small—here!